i really feel like killing myself somtimes.

the Under No Roof event was sort of in an amazing race format. u're supposed to complete the tasks given and collect materials for the construction of ur house.(gotta build a house..actually more like a slum.. after completing the tasks)

i thought the tasks would be fun and easy. i was dead wrong. its tiring, painful, and the moral of the tasks doesn't make any sense. well, at least it don't to me.

give u an example.

one of the tasks was to walk all the way from tanjong pagar to some park in chinatown, after which we were blindfolded and made to either squat or kneel down in an open field under the freaking hot sun, without any form of communication with anybody, for full 30 mins. the moral of the task is to make us experienced the boredom felt by the poor, unemployed ppl in the developing countries, stoning at home, not having any thing to do. y squat or kneel? simply because just stoning for 30 mins is nothing as compared to the boredom felt by the ppl stoning for the wHolE day, so squat or kneel is to make the task more painful for us. we were blindfolded coz the poor ppl at night might not have any light in the house(coz they r too poor to afford it).

i couldn't stand up straight after stoning and squat/kneel for 30 mins.

that station was called 'the stoning station'.

another example.

at the next station, we were made to squat down(again!!) and find tiny little green beans seeds in the grass patch area that the station masters indicated. each green bean seed will entitled the team to one piece of cardboard(for the building of the house..slum later). we found 6 green bean seeds in all.

ok. finally the construction of the house after 4 tiring stations. the hse we built was pretty!! if only i had a camera with me! we decorated the roof with little pinky yellow flowers and lined up a little pathway to our hse with pebbles and flowers. so proud of it!!

ok la. after the whole thing i actually had a sense of accomplishment for completing this whole thing. i was pretty pleased with myself. although i was dead tired.

the next day, which is yesterday, i had horrible cramps and my legs felt numb. felt so horribly sick and i can't really do anything much except lying on my bed. so i spent practically the whole day lying on my bed. damn. i was supposed to study alot ytd! -sighx-

i should get back to studying right now.

he said that in a frustrating tone to me today, simply becoz i did not give the play-along ans he wants.

it was pretty loud when he said that.

that 4 little words are actually...quite hurting.

suddenly, i juz can't rmb how it feels like to be happy.

now i'm stuck with insomnia.

i'm still damn bloody awake at 4 a.m.

i was still so damn tired 1 hr ago. now suddenly i can't seem to slp at all.

my bedtime is all messed up. damn great. now i have to worry about being able to finish my studying schedule tmr since i will definitely wake up late.

life's so damn screwed up.

i juz hate and fear the feeling of that everybody's slping and i'm all alone, no one to talk to, stuck with the long slpless nite.

nvm.

luckily cs is still online. at least i still have someone to tok to. and i know that someone is still awake.

if only somebody can use a bat and whack me unconscious now.

(nobody was talking)"Everyone pls be quiet. shh. now who's the one talking? oh its me."

got one more part whereby his assistant said bad things about alex and gang, and he was like,

"How can u insult the freaks?"

its like..he himself is insulting alex and gang by calling them freaks. -.-!!!

after movie we went to walk around, ate at BK and went home. i still thought today was pretty not bad until the bus ride home.

i was sitting at the inner seat and this little girl was sitting beside me. when my stop was approaching, i wanted to get out, but then apparently the little girl, being small and innocent, do not know how to move to let me get out. then her mother, who was standing nearby, saw and went like

"Girl ar let the auntie come out."

Excuse me. Did i just heard the word 'auntie'? she's calling me auntie?? i still have a super long way to go before i reach the auntie stage!!!

i got super upset and depressed after that. do i look like an auntie? oh my gawd. this is just so unbelievable. i'm not auntie. i do not look and dress like one. let's try it again in case u didn't catch it. i. aM. NOT. AUNTIE!

this is too saddening. dear yy still laughed out super loud when she heard that. so sadist.

let's drop the topic about auntie now. this is just too...oh nvm.